Another 10 point scorefest from Air Edwards, another long-winded ramblefest from myself, and a celebrity graduate of Hermist University, School of Public Speaking/Press Conferences (or HUSOPSPC), with a minor in the Hermy Shuffle.
Chiefs 10, Colts 13
I said last week that it didn’t matter who the QB was, because the problems were with the offensive line, the offensive coordinator & with the head coach. Once again, I was right. The Chiefs scored 10 points vs the Colts, which was pretty much what they scored last week, and pretty much what they scored 5 other times this year, and in 4 pre-season games and last year’s playoff game vs the Colts.
That being said, Brodie Croyle played great, considering he was wearing Hermcuffs (I did not coin this term, but I love it). He showed great promise, with his quick release, strong arm, quick decisions, scrambling ability and bulging biceps (according to the anouncers). Maybe we should call him Popeye Croyle.
Does Special Teams Coach Mike Priefer get any practice time with his unit? For all the crap thrown at Eddie Drummond, his replacements did no better. I didn’t see any blocking on any of the kicks. The alleged wedge on a kickoff let two Colts run right by & cream the returner. Apparently 1st time coaches who are as good now as they were last year in game one doesn’t just apply to the offensive coordinator.
All game long the anouncers were questioning the Chiefs playcalling, especially the quick hitches to Dwayne Bowe. They asked why would you keep running the same play when the Colts know it’s coming, unless this was a set-up play for the hitch & go. Sadly, it was not a set-up play. It’s like Solari was playing Madden Football and kept running the same play until it didn’t work anymore, and then quit using it.
The defense played great, but once again, the effort is wasted. This could be one of the best Chiefs defenses in the last 15 years, and they will have a losing record. Sad.
Why was no Hail Mary thrown at the end of the game? Herm was banking on a fumbled snap by the Colts on their winning FG, but didn’t want to take a chance on getting a pass interference or a deflected TD catch. Yah, getting 12 laterals for a TD works SO much better.
EDWARDS: “There’s no room for error for us. We have more three-and-outs than anybody in football. We have more negative plays than anybody in football. It’s hard playing that way. You put a lot of strain on the defense. So you’re trying to protect them, too. You don’t want your defense out there the whole game.”
JD: Then why are you punting on 4th and 1 near midfield with 6 minutes left in the game? This is YOUR baby, this is the team YOU created! Why are you the only one surprised it doesn’t work?
EDWARDS: “Do I want to play that way? Heck, no. But we have to play that way. I’m trying to play the best way for the Chiefs to win the game.”
JD: By playing not to lose? A good coach will realize when his way does not work and adjust. Last year Marty realized the ultraconservative game plan wasn’t working (after a loss in Baltimore), and he let the offense open up and they won 14 games. Will Herm win 14 games in two years combined?
EDWARDS: “You have all of these great ideas that you want to use. There are a lot of things other teams are doing that we’d like to do. But we know what we are whether we like it or not. It’s been 10 weeks. You’re not going to all of a sudden evolve into something like New England. You’ve got to do what you feel you’re capable of doing.”
JD: But you’ve had this problem for a year and a half, not 10 weeks, and it’s getting worse. I would like to think we can find some middle ground between New England (56 points) and the Chiefs (10 points).
EDWARDS: “You know what you’re capable of doing and at the end of the day, you’re always trying to do things the players can be successful at. You can’t do things that won’t let your players be successful. You have to take some chances once in a while. I understand that. But there are (only) certain things we’re capable of doing. Would we like to do some different things? Sure. But you have to play to the strengths of your players. It looks like we’re conservative at times. We’re doing things in a way we feel we’re capable of doing them. As a staff, we’ve been with these players every day. We coach them every day. We know what they’re capable of doing. Whether everybody else believes that, it doesn’t matter. It might look conservative, but it’s a way of playing football that gives us the best opportunity to win.”
JD: Herm repeated his point SEVEN TIMES in that paragraph. SEVEN. Who is he trying to convince, us or him? It doesn’t matter anyway, the bottom line is what Herm just said DOES NOT WORK. If 10 points per game is the best he can do with these players, then Herm just endorsed his own firing. He just admitted he can’t do any better.
How would a bigmouth know-it-all such as myself fix this?
A lot of fans seem to be more upset at the negativity than the crap on the field, and want to hear solutions, not complaining. While that line of thinking gets you teams like the Chicago Cubs, that’s ok, I’m happy to oblige. Here are my suggestions to helping the Chiefs improve.
1) Herm – Stop giving press conferences! You lose all credibility and respect when you say stupid things, outright lie, and completely contradict what you said in your previous sentence.
2) Herm – The first step to recovery is to admit your faults. If Herm were to say that his Hermplan does not work and he is willing to adapt to help the Chiefs win (and actually does adapt), then I can get behind him.
3) Mike Priefer – Teach your players how to block. Tell them if the block does not come to you, you have to go to it. Hire a FG tutor.
4) Mike Solari – Call Al Saunders for advice. After he he’s done laughing at you and hangs up, call Len Dawson, or tape record his radio broadcast. He is constantly giving playcalling advice and since he’s won a Super Bowl & called his own plays, I think he can teach you something.
5) Mike Solari – If that doesn’t work, go back and watch the first half of every game this year, and throw those plays out. Then go watch the first half of every New England game and copy those plays. It’s better to aim high and miss, than to aim low & miss.
6) Herm & Solari – Tony G, DBowe & Priest are pretty good, so let’s try to include them more often in the game plan. Ask them what plays they like & use them.
7) Mike Solari – Do not call for 7 step drops because the left tackle can’t block. Call more 3 step drops and quick passes.
8) Offensive Line Coach Bob Bicknell – Hey another first year coach! Teach your players how to block.
9) Dick Curl – Who is this guy and what in the blue hell does he DO here?
10) Herm & Solari – The 30 yard line is not the end of the field. Consider the endzone your new target.
11) Herm & Solari – Better yet, just fire the kicker & do not replace him. This should force you to go for TDs on every possession.
12) Herm & Solari – Hell, let’s just get rid of the punter too while we’re at it. Now you have no choice but to get first downs.
13) Clark Hunt – The best way to improve the Chiefs for the long haul is to fire Herm, Solari, Dick Curl & Carl Peterson after this season ends and hire Bill Cower (keeping Gunther, of course).
There are 9 practical solutions there for this year, and one for this January. My suggestions can’t do any worse than the 10 points a game they average now.
Colts Game Quotes
JASON WHITLESS: “But a smart football fan should be relatively satisfied with what they saw Sunday. Allen, Bowe, Hali, Croyle and Derrick Johnson went into the house of the defending Super Bowl champions and made plays.”
JD: No, a smart football fan would realize wins are given to the team with the most points, not the team that “made plays”. When the season ticket renewal bills are sent and it’s time to pull out the checkbook, why don’t you ask then if the “smart” football fans are satisfied with 10 points a game and 3 home losses? Normally I like Jason’s columns, but that was just a silly statement.
TONY GONZALEZ: “To me, that’s ridiculous (talking about the playcalling). Do I agree with it? No. Do I have to go along with it? Yeah. I’m a player on this team, and if that’s what (coach Herm Edwards) wants to do and (offensive coordinator) Mike Solari wants to do, then so be it. It doesn’t mean I have to agree with it. I wish we would have at least given it a try. We’re in here playing the Super Bowl champs. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve got to take it to them when you have the opportunity.”
JD: Sounds to me like Tony Gonzalez is not a “smart” football fan.
EDWARDS: “I want to say we want to ride it out (talking about K Dave Rayner). I don’t want to get into kicking contests.”
JD: Your kicker just missed 2 FGs in a game that you lost by 3 points and you don’t want to get into kicking contests??? You run a FG offense with a kicker who you can’t count on to kick FGs and you don’t want to even CONSIDER bringing in some competition? Herm changes QBs just to get a spark, but the guy whose job directly leads to points will be left alone. Unbelievable.
JOE POSNANSKI: “Trouble is that Edwards already had a reputation – earned in New York – as the First Officer of Field Goals, a defensive coach who wanted to win games 12-10. He argues the point (Edwards says he wants to score 24 points in a game), but he knows this is how people see him.”
JD: Actually Herm said 21 points were a lot, then he said he wanted 24 a game, then he said he wanted a 21 point lead, and so on, and so on. What Herm says greatly depends on what day of the week it is. You judge people by what they do, not what they say. Once the Chiefs get to the opponents 30 yard line, the playcalling goes into a shell to protect the “Gold Zone” and the FG attempt. I’m surprised Herm goes through the motions and even runs plays on 2nd & 3rd down, instead of kicking the FG on 1st and 10 from the 30.
Gregg Easterbrook (ESPN Page 2 columnist)
“Buck-Buck-Brawckkkkkkk: With the score Denver 20, Kansas City 8 in the third quarter, the Flintstones faced fourth-and-4 on the Broncos’ 20. Herm “I Honor My Contract When I’m in the Mood” Edwards sent in the field goal unit. Oh great — now it’s a nine-point deficit! Kansas City did not score again. Note: With Denver leading 6-5, Kansas City faced third-and-2 on the Broncos’ 5. Priest Holmes, getting his first start since 2005, took a toss, tried to reverse field and ended up losing 13 yards. Never run backward!”
I couldn’t have put it better myself, Gregg. But I’ll try anyway. Herm continually plays not to lose, and all that ensures is, you will lose.
Rob Zombie, Hermist University Graduate
Rob Zombie recorded a PETA commercial about the evils of eating turkey on Thanksgiving. He says it’s cruel, that turkeys have feelings, and they are tortured before being murdered. He says we should also eat tofu turkey.
Rob Zombie is denouncing torture. Of turkeys. That’s like Herm Edwards saying he likes scoring 30 points. Or 21 points.
“House of 1,000 Corpses” and “Halloween” (2007) are two of the most sadistically violent glorified snuff films ever made, in my opinion. The death scenes in “Halloween” are brutally realistic and each victim takes 5 minutes to die. Mr Zombie depicts naked women running around with multiple stab wounds, covered in blood, being tortured to death.
So brutalizing and torturing women is okay, but not not turkeys. That makes sense, thanks Rob!
(press conference 11/13/07)
EDWARDS: “They’ve (Colts) lost two in a row and that’s uncharacteristic for that football team. They’re coming home and they need to win because they’re fighting to stay in the lead in their division.”
JD: Herm sounds like a Colts fan. Have you noticed how Herm is trying to emulate Tony Dungy in all ways? He almost looks just like him (and I’m not talking skin color): he has a pencil thin neck, pencil thin moustache, sleeveless sweater, white long sleeve shirt, and a baseball cap with the brim pulled way down low. It’s almost like in “Every Which Way But Loose”, when Clint went to fight his hero, and threw the fight, because he didn’t want to be the guy who made his hero lose. At no time during this Colts game & last year’s Colts game did I ever get the feeling that Herm wanted to win & defeat his best friend.
Q: Was it hard for you to go with Brodie Croyle? How long did you have to sleep on it?
EDWARDS: “A whole day, a night. You think about the process. It’s more how you’re going through the season and you look at how you’re playing. Obviously, we’ve struggled on offense. We’ve scored 13 touchdowns and that’s not a lot.”
JD: But you didn’t want to score touchdowns, you have the offense you wanted. Why are you the only one who is surprised?
EDWARDS: “Brodie is going to have to come in and not put the team on his back. He just has to come in and play quarterback and try to move the ball and score – we have to score points. There’s no doubt about it.”
JD: Well there is a doubt about it, since you don’t do it.
EDWARDS: “When you struggle scoring it makes it very, very difficult when you get down by two scores. We move the ball at times but then we bog down when we get inside the 30.”
JD: That’s because your offense goes into a shell when you get in FG range.
EDWARDS: “But you still have to be able to run the football, for any quarterback. I just made a note that the Indianapolis Colts run the ball for 130 yards a game. That’s why Peyton Manning is having an excellent season. That’s why he’s been a good quarterback the last four or five years: they started running the ball.”
JD: So are you saying Peyton Manning wasn’t good before they started running?
EDWARDS: “I told him every game he (Croyle) has to improve now. That’s his job. It’s to improve. He doesn’t have to be a leader. No one is asking him to lead. Just play quarterback. He can’t lead a team until he wins. The people around him have to do their jobs and help him.”
JD: Why doesn’t anyone else have to improve every game?
Q: Is this the biggest decision you will make this year?
EDWARDS: “I guess – cause it’s the quarterback. It’s always big decision when you change quarterbacks. But I’m not going to say it’s the biggest. But there are some other decisions we’re making that aren’t as glaring. People don’t talk about them because it’s not the quarterback. Anytime you talk about the quarterback it’s a big decision. I’ve had to do this before.”
JD: I love when Herm gets on one of these rolls because he contradicts himself with every new sentence.
EDWARDS: “Society says when something goes bad you want to throw the other guy out. You don’t do that.”
JD: Herm is already campaigning to save his job.
EDWARDS: “You fail to realize this: this offense hasn’t changed. It hasn’t changed in two years. We don’t call different plays. That’s a figment of people’s imagination.”
JD: So scoring 10 points a game for 12 games (this year, preseason & playoffs), winning only 2, is a figment of my imagination? Of course it hasn’t changed in 2 years, that was your offense too! And it also sucked last year too!
Q: Last year’s Indy playoff game is ancient history but do players every really get that out of their minds?
EDWARDS: “I don’t know if you ever do. I think you remember it but you don’t dwell on it. You take it for what it’s worth and you move on. Games don’t turn out the way you hoped. That’s happened a lot of places. Well, why? This is why you learn from it.”
JD: But you haven’t learned. You only scored 2 more points this year than last.
Q: One area the Colts have been bad is kick coverage. Is this an area where you might make a change since your return hasn’t been good?
Q: Kickoff or punt?
EDWARDS: “Kickoff; they don’t punt a whole lot. Jeff [Webb] is someone you look at. But like I always say, if they’re kicking the ball to you, you would prefer it would be a punt. When you kicking it to you it generally means two things: they either scored a touchdown or kicked a field goal.”
JD: What’s so funny aboot Captain Obvious here is even when stating the obvious, he still gets it wrong. In this case you also kick off at the begining of the 1st and 2nd half, and you punt in kickoff formation after a safety.
Q: If your offense hasn’t changed why has it struggled?
EDWARDS: “It hasn’t changed. Same plays, same plays we had last year. It’s the same and a lot of the same players. Sometimes the perception is not the reality. Same playbook. Same terminology.”
JD: You keep telling yourself that Herm, just keep telling yourself that.