More useless quotes from Blob, CP, and everyone’s favorite toolbox, yours truly. I will try not to embarrass myself this column, but I make no promises.

Also, no Hermisms this week. It’s not that he didn’t say any, I’m just not counting pre-season idiocy. I’m waiting for his regular season excuses.

2008 Predictions

I know everyone has been waiting with bated breath for my game-by-game predictions. After spending several hours analyzing rosters, schedules, trends, team histories, wind conditions, and the gross national product of Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, here are the exact scores for every Chiefs game this year.

L 10-13 @ New England
L 10-13 Oakland
L 10-13 @ Atlanta
L 10-13 Denver
L 10-13 @ Carolina
W 13-10 Tennessee
L 10-13 @ Jets
L 10-13 Tampa
L 10-13 @ San Diego
W 13-10 New Orleans
L 10-13 Buffalo
W 13-10 @ Oakland
L 6-35 @ Denver
W 13-10 San Diego
L 10-13 Miami
L 10-13ot @ Cincinnati

Of course I’m kidding with 15 games being 13-10, we know that won’t happen. They’ll win in Oakland 12-10.

Seriously, looking at Herm’s record, he tends to win 9-10 games every other year, and this would be that year. Herm does just enough to save his job when the heat is on, but I just don’t see it this year. I hope I’m wrong, I really do, but we also need to be realistic.

Let’s break some of these down.

New England
As bad as the Chiefs are, they can win if Brady does not play, or gets taken out early (he is currently injured, but says he’ll be ready for us).

Oakland
Herm has started 0-2 the last two years in a row, so the trend says to pick Oakland. They aren’t any good either, but they did win @ Arrowhead last year.

Atlanta
The Chiefs should win this, but since everyone and their mom has this penciled as an easy win, the trend says to go against the public and take Atlanta. No 4-12 team should ever pencil in any team as a gimmie win. Period.

Denver
KC lost badly twice last year to the Donkeys, and I’m not picking them to win until they earn it.

Tennessee
Same theory as Atlanta, I think Tennessee will pencil this in as any easy win and the Chiefs take them.

Tampa Bay
This game could go wither way for me. It depends on which Tampa team shows up.

New Orleans
The Saints are the better team, but I think they will get caught looking ahead and self-destruct.

Buffalo
Buffalo is better than most think and they will get KC right after an upset win to knock them back down to reality.

Denver
KC is 4-21 @ Denver since 1983. ‘Nuff said!

San Diego & Miami
Same reasoning as New Orleans and Buffalo.

Cincinnati
KC hasn’t won there since 1984, and just like 2007, the Chiefs will go out with a wimper in overtime in what will hopefully be the great Herm Edwards and King Carl’s last game with the Chiefs. And then finally, a competent rebuilding of the Chiefs.

Bob Gretz

Mr. Gretz recently wrote an article concerning the training camp injuries to both Kansas City’s 1st round draft picks. His point was for people not to panic, that the season was not over before it started. While that can be a good point to make, he still did it in typical Bob fashion. I’m not going to waste time and space reprinting the whole piece, just the two paragraphs that jumped out at me. They are pretty self-contained are not taken out of context.

Chiefs Have Not Crashed & Burned
Aug 05, 2008, 6:13:16 AM by Bob Gretz – FAQ

GRETZ: “But a funny thing happened on the way to the premature end of the Chiefs season. Those players who could work went out on Monday and put together the best back-to-back practices of training camp. So intense was the action in the afternoon session – without full pads – that Herm Edwards is going to back off a bit on the practice work in the next few days.”

JD: Wow, the best back-to-back practices with no pads? Look out Super Bowl!

GRETZ: “….that Herm Edwards is going to back off a bit on the practice work in the next few days.”

JD: Wait a minute, they work hard for two practices and they get to take it easy the next three days? You only won four games last year. FOUR. I can see dialing it down for the afternoon or next practice, but a few days?

GRETZ: “There’s no question that injuries can damage a team and its chances for success. When Larry Johnson went down with his foot injury last year, the Chiefs did not win another game. Now that’s devastating. But come on, two guys who have never played a game in the NFL go down for a few weeks and the season is ruined? That’s ridiculous.”

JD: When you have a NINE game losing streak, and you are depending on “two guys who have never played a game in the NFL” to immediately start and contribute, and they are out to injury, yes Blob, it is cause for concern.

Carl Peterson

Last article I posted this quote from Carl Peterson from this year:

PETERSON: “Our previous head coaches didn’t want to do it in this fashion. They wanted to play veteran players and were reluctant to play young players. Herm has a different philosophy, and you always try to go with the philosophy of your head coach because at the end of the day, he’s the one who has to get the most out of them.”

JD: Well, I just watched “Hard Knocks”, and there is a part where they are discussing who the starting quarterback should be, and Carl pretty much says it should be Damon Huard because he’s the veteran, while Herm looks to be leaning to Croyle.

It looks like our current GM “wanted to play veteran players and we were reluctant to play young players.”

Actually, ever since I crowned our head coach, “Herm The Liar”, I think Carl got jealous. I think he wants that title from Herm. If he keeps making statements like that, we may just have a battle royal for the title of “The Liar.” I’ll keep you posted.

New York Mets Manager Willie Randolph

From the 6/25, Jeffrey Flanagan KC Star article:

“Don’t know if you caught that quote from fired Mets manager Willie Randolph, who was asked whether African-Americans are held to a higher standard in the coaching/managing world of New York.”

“I don’t know how to put my finger on it, but I think there’s something there,” he said. “Herman Edwards did pretty well here . . . and they were pretty hard on Herm. Isiah (Thomas) didn’t do a great job, but they beat up Isiah pretty good.”

JD: Hate to break it to you Willie, if Herm “did pretty well” in NY, the Jets and their fans wouldn’t have packed his bags, drove him to the airport, and personally flown him to KC (I have a sneaking feeling that there may be Chief fans already lining up to return the favor). Fans want winners and I don’t think they care what color you are, as long as you win.

KCFX the FOX!

Kudos to KCFX in the pre-season internet broadcast of the first two Chiefs games. They almost managed to play as much of the game as they did KCFX promos!

You don’t realize how long 10, 20, and 30 seconds are till you hear the same promo played 148 times in a row. If KCFX wanted to get people to really hate their station and their on-air talent, then they’re doing a great job. Maybe they are taking a cue from Carl and Herm and are running the radio station with rookies and draft picks.

Just a thought, but maybe they should let the producers of the radio broadcast run the internet broadcast as well? Either way, I expect it to be fixed by the regular season, so that should be good news for those of us outside of Missouri and Kansas.

Kool-Aide: Taste Great or Less Filling?

The Chief fan base seems to be splitting into two camps: the Kool-Aide drinkers from Imagination Land and the Realists from Negativille. There is nothing wrong with drinking Kool-Aide, but unfortunately some of the current class have the blinders on so tight Ray Charles asks them to move out of the way. Some are more upset with me than the man who has set a Chiefs record non-strike losing streak of nine games. NINE GAMES.

But that’s ok, I do have to take some responsibility. It was my negativitah that caused Herm to not get into “kicking competitions” and keep a kicker who would eventually cost us wins against Oakland and Indy. Wait a minute! I thought all bad player acquisitions were Dick Vermeil’s fault? I’m sure there’s a way to blame both myself and DV for this, I’ll get back to you on it.

Speaking of Dick Vermeil, anyone see the movie, “Invincible”? Greg Kinnear, who played Dick Vermeil, kept signing all these old, overpriced free agents. No wonder why the Eagles sucked in that movie.

Anyway, back on topic. The problem with bathing in the Kool-Aide & having white-hot passion for your team, especially a bad team, is eventually they will let you down. You will eventually burn yourself out, or even hate the team you came to love, but probably you will just lower your expectations and become a Realist.

Hate me all you want, but deep down you all know Herm could coach the Harlem Globetrotters into a losing streak. So keep making excuses for him, but when he’s eventually fired and the Chiefs start winning again, your predictable silence will be apology enough.

Before anyone gets all huffy, I’m only referring to the Kool-Aides who like to personally attack me and ignore the facts. Like I said, sipping the wine is fine, just don’t let it blind your mind.

On a side note, since I don’t live in Kansas or Missouri, maybe someone can tell me, is “toolbox” considered a putdown there? Some brave, intellectual engineer really laid the wood to me with that verbal buzzsaw. I’m sure now he’ll try to up the ante and graduate to a 2nd grade name-calling Do-Si-Do. It’s funny how most of the Kool-Aiders never really debate or address the arguments I’ve laid out, but instead fly ego first into personal attacks. You darn toolboxes!

Letters to the Know-It-All (that’s me)

Today’s Weekly Letter of The Month (or TWLOTM), is from Jake and it was posted on my last article:

JAKE: “I think you’re an idiot. Not only do I disagree with your opinions, but I really dislike how you do it, taking someone’s email and responding to sections of it out of context. You’re a little twerp. If I wasn’t so lazy I would respond to your silly post in a similar fashion. As it is, I’ll just say this: Herm is not a great coach, Carl is not a great GM/President, and the Chiefs are not a good football team right now. However, they are on their way to being a good team. The best way for the Chiefs to get good again is a youth movement through the draft. New young, energetic, loyal players who are true Chiefs. Trust me, in two more drafts this team will have as much talent as any team in the league. Then there is no excuse for not winning. You’re dismissed, JD.”

JD: You know the main reason I respond line by line is because it’s just easier to read. If I printed a letter or a press conference transcript in full and then responded at the end, it would look like one giant monotonous never-ending paragraph, or a letter from Jake, and no one would want to read it. I printed your post in full first, so you can’t say I took it out of context. But I’m sure you still will.

Now let’s get a couple of glasses and get to the bottom of your wine.

JAKE: “I think you’re an idiot.”

JD: I thought I was a toolbox? Well, either way, you sure put me in my place. I guess I should just go home since I can’t really argue with that kind of witticism there, Mr. Wordsmith. I know when I’ve been intellectually outmatched. Round one to you Mr. Jake. Curses!

JAKE: “Not only do I disagree with your opinions, but I really dislike how you do it, taking someone’s email and responding to sections of it out of context.”

JD: “Taking it out of context” is always the battle cry of someone who said something they can’t defend or take back. Have you ever noticed how people who cry “you take me out of context” hardly ever say what context it was in?

Kind of like everyone’s favorite Rev. Wright, saying the government invented aids to give to African Americans. Then he said he was taken out of context, but neglected to give what the context was. Then he went to repeat the statement three more times, proving what we already knew, that it was indeed, not taken out of context.

Last article I printed the ENTIRE critical email from a dedicated reader. What was out of context? IT WAS ALL THERE.

JAKE: “You’re a little twerp.”

JD: Little? I’M ALL MAN LADY!!!
(Relax, it’s a movie quote. Know which one? The first person with the correct answer wins absolutely nothing.)

JAKE: “If I wasn’t so lazy I would respond to your silly post in a similar fashion.”

JD: I wish you would’ve. The 600 word manifesto in your first post was a little hard to read. You should try the paragraph. I know it’s new, but you’ll get used to it

JAKE: “As it is, I’ll just say this: Herm is not a great coach, Carl is not a great GM/President, and the Chiefs are not a good football team right now. However, they are on their way to being a good team.

JD: They aren’t great, but they’re on their way to being good? Not sure what kind of expectations you have for the Chiefs, but I don’t want a good team, I want a Super Bowl winning team.

JAKE: “The best way for the Chiefs to get good again is a youth movement through the draft. New young, energetic, loyal players who are true Chiefs.”

JD: You mean young, energetic, loyal players like Jared Allen? Hoooaa! What? Too soon? Trent Green was loyal, look what that got him. Tony Richardson was a true Chief, where is he now?

JAKE: “Trust me, in two more drafts this team will have as much talent as any team in the league. Then there is no excuse for not winning.”

JD: Why wait two years to find out what everyone else already knows? This is now a league of one year turnarounds, yet you want to take three. Question for you, if Herm is so great, why didn’t he win a Super Bowl in NY?

I did notice in your little Odyssey, that you said you’ve attended 50 Chiefs games. That can break down to eight regular season games + two pre-season games a year and comes out to five seasons, so I can safely assume you are at least six years old. Follow me for a minute on this one, with the Jets, Herm had five years to draft “as much talent as any team in the league”. Why did the Jets let Herm go if he’s so good? NY fans couldn’t pack his bags fast enough, and they even posted on the MBs over here warning us about Herm.

Goldzone44 thanked you for being a Chiefs fan, as do I, but c’mon man, wake up! Do you like watching your favorite team set records for losing? Do you like watching your favorite team lose 10-13 to the sucky Jets as well as the Colts?

It’s funny that so many blame the current Chiefs troubles on previous Chiefs coach Dick Vermeil. By that logic, who should be blamed for the current Jets troubles? Herm can’t get a pass for both KC and NY. Now, are you done, can I go?

JAKE: “You’re dismissed, JD.”