Not too many laughs this week, just trying to keep in tune with this mess that Herm has taken three years to assemble.

Just when I thought we hit rock bottom with Sunday’s loss to Oakland, Herm keeps talking. After Herm’s press conference, I think by the end of the year we may look back at our franchise record 11 game losing streak with fondness, and refer to it as the good old days.

What I saw, heard and read, was an arrogant, defiant jag, who has nothing but disdain for the fans and places no priority on winning. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I was accused of doing that last year, and unfortunately I was proven right.

Huge kudos to loyal readers J-Rock and Steve. It’s takes a big man to apologize and admit to being wrong. We shouldn’t be fighting amongst ourselves anyway. Other than our coach, we all want the same thing, and that’s for the Chiefs to win.

Chiefs 8, Raiders 23

What’s there to say? An embarrassment all the way around, and it didn’t even phase our coach. If I didn’t know better, it seems like he is intentionally trying to bury this team. Maybe this is a real life “Major League”, except that Herm is funnier than the movie, but less believable.

I feel sorry for players like Tony Gonzalez, Donnie Edwards and the other players on the team. They didn’t sign up for this. At this rate, Tony will never break the remaining all-time tight end records.

The ESPN Monday Night Football halftime highlights did not contain KC/Oak footage. This embarrassment from the Raiders wasn’t even worthy enough to waste five seconds mentioning, wow. Let me type that backwards for effect, wow.

Herm said he doesn’t report to the fans. Clearly this man has no fear when it comes to his job security. He is running this franchise into the ground and apparently no one in charge has any balls to take him out. 1-15 is not unrealistic. We are in for a long year.

Hermisms

Before the season started, on picking a kicker:

EDWARDS: “I’m trying to be fair. I’m trying to tell the truth. (Barth and Novak) have been 85-to-86 percent (in practices). If you can get a kicker who can kick 80 percent in the season, you’ll take that.”

JD: Yah, when you are used to kickers kicking 50%, 80% sounds good. How about Herm admitting that telling the truth is hard for him.

Talking about the Chiefs upcoming opponent:

EDWARDS: “They’re (Atlanta) a team kind of like us: they’re kind of young. The quarterback, I think, is going to be a good quarterback. He’s tough. He got hit a lot last week in Tampa. I anticipate them trying to protect him a little bit better. It got to be one of those games where they couldn’t run it as much as they like because they got behind.”

JD: Except that Atlanta has won a game this year, and they did it by scoring more than 10 points and throwing the ball DOWNFIELD.

Q: Larry Johnson made some comments after the game with Oakland that he felt the writing is on the wall for him, that there’s different personnel groups being used, that he’s not a factor in the game. Is there any truth to that?

EDWARDS: “No, Larry is part of the program. We look at it every week and I’m probably giving the game plan away but people probably know it anyway: he needs to touch the ball 20 to 25 times. Running the ball is what we would like to do with him.”

JD: Uh, if everyone already knows our game plan, then you’re not really giving it away are you? And if everyone knows it, maybe you should change it, since it clearly is not working.

EDWARDS: “The game got so skewed late in the third quarter that we got into the two-minute offense in the fourth quarter and were throwing the ball a lot. Not saying that Larry is not a part of that but at that point in time we have different personnel people in the game.”

JD: Maybe if Huard didn’t get benched, I mean “injured”, the game wouldn’t have been so skewed. Here’s a thought, why don’t you start the game with the two-minute offense, and then you can run the ball 20 straight times up the middle to protect a lead. You remember what a “lead” is don’t you?

EDWARDS: “No, Larry is a factor. Larry is always a factor. He always has to be a factor but we’ve got to start running better.”

JD: And Herm the Liar returns, again. Just about every week he will repeat the same thing three times in consecutive sentences, like he’s really trying hard to convince someone. Whether it’s us or him he’s trying to convince, I don’t know. But when we can look at games one and two and see that Larry was clearly NOT a factor, for him to keep repeating it is just silly.

Q: Have you talked to Larry or has he talked to you about it?

EDWARDS: “Oh yeah, we’re good. He came in yesterday. We’re fine. He’s talked to everybody. He should feel that way. He should feel that, he should feel you know what? I want to contribute more. We expect that out of him. That’s a good sign; that’s not a bad sign. That’s good for him. He wants to be in the game.”

JD: Herm is hitting all his marks today! First the “Three Speak”, and now “Good AND Bad”. It wouldn’t be a Herm press conference if he didn’t remind us that things that are good, are also not bad. Thanks your coach, fans, THANKS HERM!

Q: You’ve got to have a back who can block.

EDWARDS: “He’s done a better job of blocking since I’ve been here. Larry’s been in there and blocked and is picking up protection. He’s fine.”

JD: Then why isn’t he in on the two-minute offense? If he runs good, is a factor, and blocks fine, then why is he not in the F’N two minute offense?!

Q: How do you keep these guys believing after a loss like you suffered last week? How do you keep them believing that this is the right way?

EDWARDS: “Well, it’s definitely the right way.”

JD: Holy crap! He didn’t ask you if it WAS the right way. Me thinks thee protests too much.

EDWARDS: “It’s no different than what happened in Miami in the preseason. We had a bad game and came back the next week and played pretty good and won at home. It’s no different except it’s the regular season.”

JD: Then it is different.

EDWARDS: “We didn’t play as good. We played decent up in New England and lost. We played this game and in the first half it was really the same score as in New England, in my opinion, where we were trailing 7-3. As bad as it was the first half (vs. Oakland) you’re one play away from making it a game and taking the lead if you get seven (points).”

JD: You’re right about it being the same score, we had no TDs through three quarters in both games!

Q: Is this all harder than you thought, more difficult than you thought it was going to be?

EDWARDS: “When you plan this thing out, every week is a new journey, a new road you go down with so many young guys. You understand that.”

JD: Well when you don’t know what you’re doing, of course every week is a new journey. Do you think Belicheat goes on a “new journey” every week? No, he expects to win. Every week.

EDWARDS: “Our problem has been this in both games: we get behind, we haven’t played with a lead and when we can’t throw the football and make plays downfield, teams stack the box so it’s very difficult to run.”

JD: Good thing you’re going to play merry-go-round with the quarterback. That’ll DEFINITELY make throwing the ball easier!

EDWARDS: “There will be some ups and downs but we’ve got to score more points. We’re scoring about nine points a game and that’s not good enough.”

JD: Well, what is good enough? We know you think 21 is a lot and 30 is Arena Ball.

Q: It looks like games like Sunday are part of the plan…

EDWARDS: “It’s never part of the plan. Part of the plan is to develop young players and give them the ability to play that they can win with. That’s the plan.”

JD: How about winning? Is that part of the plan?

EDWARDS: “How games turn out you don’t know until the games’ are being played. Then when they are over with you go, wow, we did these things right, we did these things wrong. But these players want to win a game; we all want to win a game. When things happen they happen and you have to adjust and correct it.”

JD: When you know what you are doing, you know how the game will go, and you won’t be surprised that you did things right. I like how he says “we all want to win” as an after thought.

Q: Which quarterback gives you the best chance to win?

EDWARDS: “I think both of them. I think it’s just how you want to orchestrate it this week. We’re going to determine who the starter will be but both will be available to play along with Martin, who will play too. That’s how we’ll look at it.”

JD: Both? Really? Huard has won nine games as a Chief, how many has Tyler won in his NFL career?

EDWARDS: “..but both will be available to play along with Martin, who will play too.”

JD: Uh, aren’t ALL players in uniform on the sideline technically “available” to play? This is just slick Hermy’s way of saying they will ALL play.

Q: You said last week that Damon Huard would start but Tyler would play? Would that be the same this week assuming Damon could play?

JD: Boy, it’s amazing that Huard got “injured” which necessitated you putting in Tyler, even though you said before the game Tyler would play.

EDWARDS: “We’ll see. We’re putting our game plan in now. We would think we would be more decisive with quarterback and let the guy who plays quarterback be the quarterback.”

JD: We would think that you would be more decisive too. People who are decisive, just decide. They don’t say “we would think we would be”. That’s not very decisive.

EDWARDS: “If something should happen to the other guy, well, but we’re thinking right now of just letting one guy play.”

JD: Except that you just said three sentences ago that “Martin will play too”. You just F’N said it!

Q: So it would be either?

EDWARDS: “Whoever we decide on.”

JD: Which is……? ESPN reported today that Thigpen will start vs Atlanta. Are the Kansas City Chiefs a developmental squad or an NFL team? Playing young players for the sake of playing young players is what pre-season is for. The regular season is for WINNING.

Q: Tyler Thigpen said he didn’t know until the fourth quarter that Damon Huard was not going to come back in the game. What’s the process you go through: do you want him wondering if it’s his game or how does that process work?

EDWARDS: “It works real simple for us. We had a plan of getting both quarterbacks to play. When Tyler went in Damon had been hit. Damon’s neck was stiff and looked back earlier in the second quarter and his neck was still stiff. By halftime he was still stiff. In the third quarter it was still stiff and I said obviously you can’t go back in.”

JD: And Herm The Liar returns. I like how he says Huard’s neck was stiff four times in two sentences, so he won’t forget and say something silly, like, oh I don’t know, that Huard had head trauma, dizziness or concussion symptoms. I’m glad Herm finally has his story straight.

Q: Do you think about shaking up your offensive line yet, or when might you do that?

EDWARDS: “It’s too early for that. We did that last year and it never comes together when you start doing that. We went into this season to let those five guys play together. The good part is they are all healthy so far this season. This offense has played two games together and it’s a new offense.”

JD: Really? Because it kind of looks EXACTLY like last year’s offense.

EDWARDS: “That’s the hard part: a whole new offense and a brand new coordinator and we’re not playing with the same quarterback. That’s tough.”

JD: Well you’re the one who’s making it tough by continually screwing with the quarterback position.

EDWARDS: “You’ve got to pull all that together. We’d like to go down the road with these guys, especially with a new offense. It’s hard enough to figure out who’s playing quarterback.”

JD: Uh, isn’t Huard the only guy on the roster that has won an NFL game? Please explain why you’re having a hard time deciding who’s better.

Q: Any medical update on Brodie Croyle and when he can practice?

EDWARDS: “He’s feeling a lot better. I know that.”

JD: Uh, he didn’t say you DIDN’T know that. Little defensive are we? Does Nick Lowery still live in KC? He needs to round up the players and make another visit to the Chiefs braintrust. That is if they still have one.

Q: Surtain is out, right. Will Brandon Carr start?

EDWARDS: “He’s out this week. Yeah, two rookie corners will start.”

JD: Does he have head trauma, I mean neck stiffness too?

Q: Does that kind of give you a knot in your stomach: two rookie corners starting?

EDWARDS: “No, not at all. Not those two kids. Not at all. I anticipated that would happen eventually.”

JD: Another definitive stand from the all knowing Herm the Great.

EDWARDS: “It came to fruition. They’re going to play. You can anticipate certain things when you look at your football team. It’s the youngest secondary in the league now. The good part is they’ll get to play together for a long time.”

JD: Not if you’re fired. I anticipated that it will happen eventually.