The 1-16 Chiefs found a new record-setting way to lose, again. You would think that there would come a point when “rebuilding” doesn’t matter. Any other team would fire a coach who goes 1-16 in his 3rd year with the team. Cam Cameron was fired after going 1-15 in his “first” first year. I don’t know what is going on behind the doors at Bizarrohead Stadium, but the team is playing better in spite of Herm, not because of him.
Chiefs 27, Bucs 30
Where to begin? The largest comeback in Tampa Bay Buccaneers history, and the biggest blown lead in Kansas City Chiefs history, 21 points.
EDWARDS: “21 points?”
JD: Don’t start Herm.
For two weeks in a row, the Chiefs have only managed three 2nd half offensive points. Since it’s clear the offensive coordinator knows how to move the offense and the players seem to have the ability to execute it, is there anyone else on the team who is offensively challenged and has the ability to institute policy? I guess it will just remain a mystery.
I did not see the game, but I did listen to it on the radio. Did Herm actually call a time out with 25 seconds left? Really? Good thing Tampa Bay was out of timeouts because Herm’s shrewd move forced the Bucs to catch their breath, stop the clock and take their time coming up with a game-winning play.
I’ve been a little hesitant to call out Chiefs players because I believe the problem with the Chiefs is leadership. Maybe if they had a competent coach that they can respect, maybe they might play better.
That being said, #31 Priest Holmes, I mean Maurice Leggett, has twice now been involved in crucial plays that cost the Chiefs the game. Last week, he whiffed on a punt return tackle that the Jets returned to the 50 yard line on their game-winning drive, and this week, he was right there blowing the coverage on the Bucs game-winning touchdown.
GRUDEN: “We expected some of that (play calling) from Chan Gailey. He’s got a history of being very creative. They mixed it up quite well. They had a unique package.”
JD: Interesting. Gailey has a history of being creative, yet for the first six games of this year, I could’ve sworn Mike Solari was still coaching the team.
Joe Posnanski
Joe wrote this:
“Herm Edwards kept insisting that his team was playing with intensity. You know one surefire way to tell that a team is not playing especially hard? When the coach has to keep telling you how hard they’re playing.”
Is someone from the KC media actually noticing Herm’s bullshit? That is awesome. Hey Joe, Herm also has to constantly remind us he tells the truth, likes to score points, and knows what he is doing. Maybe you can look into that too.
Atlanta & Miami
The Falcons and Dolphins both won, again, and on the road. Apparently you can rebuild your team during the off-season & be competitive RIGHT AWAY. It’s so funny that Herm supporters can’t explain why Herm needs 4-5 years to make the team good, but Atlanta and Miami can do it in one.
Jared Allen
In his first season with the Vikings, Allen has seven sacks in eight games, including two last week against the Texans.
A column or two ago, I wrote that maybe the Allen trade was bad for both teams. I was wrong as Allen has been productive for the Vikings. Who knew the 2008 NFL sack leader would be getting a lot of sacks in 2009?
Zack & Miri Make a Cliche, I Mean Porno
I like Kevin Smith. I loved Clerks, Clerks 2, Mallrats, J&SB Strike Back, and I quote from those movies a lot, so I saw Zack & Miri over the weekend.
SPOILER ALERT
Zack & Miri and the Chiefs had a lot in common this weekend. The both started strong, had some good parts and showed a lot of potential. Unfortunately both ended predictably and badly, I left both really questioning the decision making of the people in charge and wishing I would’ve stayed home and just watched it on television for free.
If I didn’t know better, this movie was made by a twelve year old who just learned how to swear. I like to swear as much as the next person, and I do in this column a lot, but in Zack & Miri, it seemed like it was every two words for the ENTIRE MOVIE, even the credits. Two actors names would scroll across the screen, and then several random swear words would blare out. It was crazy.
F**in’ every two F**in’ words, F**in’ the whole F**in’ movie is F**in’ a lot. Sh*t!
Some people use swears as a crutch when they can’t think of anything witty to say, but in this movie it was a handicap-friendly van with an elevator lift that drove everywhere.
Even the 60-year old store owner from India character sounded like he just got off the stage at Def Comedy Jam.
Take away the cussing and toilet humor, and all you are left with is a retread of all those bad 80′s movies where the star finally realizes the one who he is really in love with is the girl who was his best friend all along. Just substitute “nerd does ‘X’ to become popular” plot device with “making a porno” plot device.
Kevin Smith’s “Jersey Girl” also used a cliche ending. Gee, will career-obsessed parent blow off important job duty to attend child’s recital/play/whatever? For me, when you can see the end coming from miles away, and it’s the same end that 37 other shitty movies used, and it’s not that great an ending to begin with, that’s lazy writing and it makes me not like it so much.
It’s playing “not to lose”, and pretty much guarantees that you will. F**k, f**k, sh*t!
Jason Mewes does a full frontal nude seen, and I know what you’re thinking, “That sounds great!”, but unfortunately it does not come across as good as it sounds (I’m being very SARCASTIC with that sentence).
It wasn’t used as a joke, or in any other way to necessitate him showing his all. F**k, f**k, sh*t! Will Ferrell was “nude” in “Old School”, even bending over to pick something up, and it was funny without having to show us the crack of his ass. Kevin should change his title of director/writer to shock-jock.
Dogma was a Catholicism spot fest with really forced dialogue, and Chasing Amy was a lesbian spot fest with really forced dialogue. Both were funny at the time, but really have not aged well. I think Z&M is heading the same way. What is funny today will be retarded tomorrow.
Zack & Miri also had two clerks who decide to film a movie in their store after hours. Hmm, that sounds familiar.
No wonder Kevin’s movies will never evolve to anything more than a cult status, but this is only my opinion.
While Roger Ebert and Variety both spoke about the abundance of swear words, my brother has now labeled me a prude. Me, an F’N prude. While I’ve been called almost every name in the book, I would classify myself as more a sarcastic jag. I’m sure there are a few readers who would disagree. So I got that going for me.
Zack & Miri did have some laughs, but I guess I just expected more. AC/DC has been remaking the same album since 1975 and a lot of people like that, so what they hell do I know?
Hermisms
Did anyone actually hear Herm’s press conference last week? This was not in the written transcript, but VLTC and Rocky commented in the last column that they heard he actually said this:
EDWARDS: “I’m an opponent of moving the football.”
JD: I couldn’t have put it better myself, Herm. But I’ll try anyway. I agree with VLTC, that you probably meant to say PROponent, but just like your “21 Points” comment, it’s probably one of the only honest things you have ever said.
Press Conference 11/4/08
Q: Does a player need a certain amount of game reps to be at his peak?
EDWARDS: “Traditional runners, and I learned this from (former N.Y. Jets RB) Curtis Martin, about at number 20 they were feeling pretty good. I learned that from Curtis Martin, from coaching him all those years. We had a guy in Philly named Wilbert Montgomery, right around 15 to 18, he’d get going. They just felt better and if think all runners feel that way. I think they just kind of go for the game. About 20 carries is about, they’re feeling pretty good. That’s all of a sudden, if they haven’t broken a big run, you can kind of feel that they’re getting ready to break one. So, somewhere right around in there. All of them are different. Running backs always want the ball. They like having the ball in their hands.”
JD: Then why was LJ only given the ball seven times at Carolina?
Q: Does losing that lead make it harder to come back this week?
EDWARDS: “Well, yeah. I think it’s more gut-wrenching because of what happened. The chain of events that took place, especially the 10-point swing, all of a sudden the momentum changed. That’s what you guard against. I knew right then when the momentum changed I said we’ve got to come out of this half and we’ve got to put some more points on the board. We weren’t able to do that, we only scored three points. They scored 17 so. If you score six points, instead of three points, you might win the game. It didn’t turn out that way. You’ve got to give those guys credit. They’re a very experienced football team, they never panicked. They got their 10 points all of a sudden and got their momentum and the third quarter was kind of back and forth. The fourth quarter, a chain of events take place and you don’t get yourself in position but one time to kick a field goal. You make three points and they make some plays. That’s what this league is though. That’s what makes it so great. Anything can happen. Leads can evaporate or they can expand. We had the same thing going with Denver. It kind of got close, got down to one score, then all of a sudden we got it out to two scores again. It didn’t transpire for us this time, but we’ve got to keep building on that and make sure we finish it.”
JD: Don’t you get dizzy wading through all that, reader? Anyway, when you apply Hermcuffs and playing for field goals, like Herm did on the first two possessions against Denver, of course leads can evaporate. 6-0 is not much of a lead. But congratulations to Herm on blowing the biggest lead in Chiefs history.
Q: How difficult is it to play sound special teams when you’re shifting your roster like this?
EDWARDS: “That’s where it hurts you. You’re talking about your core guys of your special teams, then all of a sudden you’re down to guys that are really your backup special teamers. One thing about special teams, your seconds don’t get a lot of reps, because that’s just the way practice is laid out. They can’t because they don’t have that time.”
JD: Since the special teams have helped cost you two games in a row, maybe you should MAKE the time.
Q: Have you ever been associated with a team that’s had to sign so many guys “off the street”?
EDWARDS: “When we were in New York, my last year. We lost 12 starters. We played with the fifth quarterback. I remember one game, we only dressed 42 players, we couldn’t even dress 46, because we were so beat up. It happens. You’re dressing, literally, guys that have been into training camp and the season’s kind of going and the eighth week they’ve been kind of working out. You’re asking the guy to come in, and when he comes, he looks at you and you go okay, you’ve got three days to get ready because you’ve got to play in the game. The guy kind of looks at you like you’re kidding, and I say, I’m not kidding, you’ve got to go play.”
JD: A lot of injuries come down to conditioning, and since conditioning is a coaching issue, and since this is also a recurring problem with Herm, it must be talk radio and that damn JD’s fault!
Q: Is that the kind of offense you’d like to run now? It seems to be the opposite of what you wanted to run when you came to Kansas City.
EDWARDS: “Sometimes you get pigeon-holed as a coach. Well this guy thinks like this. I think this, I want to score points, I’ve always said that.”
JD: I need to start putting Herm quotes on my rolodex because it’s starting to get to be a pain in the ass to continually have to backtrack to find where Herm has said the complete opposite of what he’s saying this particular week.
Many times last year Herm said scoring a lot of points may look pretty on the scoreboard, but it really hurts your team, and who can forget his 21 points comment. This one I do have saved at the top:
EDWARDS: “If we score 21 points, I’ll say, ‘Whoa, we scored a lot of points.’ Twenty-one points – that’s a lot of points. Thirty points? That isn’t even a football game. That’s Arena Football. We’re talking about real football.”
JD: Ok, Herm, not only are you right, but I am also wrong, you love scoring points.
EDWARDS: “How you do it is how you do it. If you can throw it around the yard and don’t throw it to that other guy too much, I’m okay with that.”
JD: Crap! Fine, I’ll go look it up. (10 minutes later) Ok, I found it. Here is Herm talking about the evils of the passing offense last year:
EDWARDS: “Here’s the problem: you can’t have an offense that goes out and takes 45 seconds off the clock because you threw three incomplete passes. You can’t do that. You can’t do that. You’re going to kill your defense. That’s the problem. It looks good that you threw a bunch of passes and you go incomplete, incomplete and incomplete, stop the clock, and you put your defense back on the field. You can say we scored real fast but then the game becomes real long. It looks like a lot of fun but it ain’t no fun.”
JD: That was just Herm contradiction #1,348. He’s okay with throwing a lot, he’s not ok with throwing a lot. Makes sense.
Q&A 11/5/08
Q: You turned up the heat in practice today?
EDWARDS: “Yeah, generally you do that this time of the year, when it gets cooler, you try to turn it up to about 75 degrees in there, because we’re going out to California. Let them sweat.”
JD: So the weather DOES make a difference. Last year you said it didn’t (talking about the Raiders coming to KC).
EDWARDS: “What about those dome teams or teams that come from California that don’t play in the cold? They don’t get acclimated; they just play in the cold. I’ve always done it this way. You say all that good stuff but once you play both teams have to play in it (cold weather).”
JD: So warm weather teams don’t have to acclimate to weather, but midwest teams do. Got it. What records for losing will you break this week?
The fact is our quarterback has put two good performances back to back which is something we have not had since 2006. If thigpen can come out and play like a pro (or better than any quarterback since the 2005 trent green) for a third game we will have ourselves a team. You talk about leadership, but you don’t talk about our quarterback play and how we have actually been in position to win the last two games only because of him leading the people around him on the field.
We saw what happens when our young team wins too early. We lost two games in a row after kicking some donkey ass. Losing for a young team is tough and productive. It affects everything completely different from winning its different for rookies than any other players too. We are saving money by letting the young kids play we will only keep the “good” ones after this year anyway.
you said: “It’s so funny that Herm supporters can’t explain why Herm needs 4-5 years to make the team good, but Atlanta and Miami can do it in one.”
I say: I don’t want a good I want a team that can dominate in every aspect of the game. I will repeat myself The 2008 season is Herm’s rookie team. When he came here I’m sure he was told to win a super bowl in five years. It has not been easy with so many injuries, cause the team lost identity. We decided to pay the big bucks to LJ without finding a qb thinking we would still be able to run the football without the best line in history.
It didn’t work LJ has two maybe three good years left, we have not found a quarterback to replace trent green in Herm’s third year.
The last thing I have to say is the last two games have been very fun to watch because this team is finally starting to show something. Bowe needs to catch every ball thats near him for us to win against san diego. Thigpen will throw a couple picks but we will make those up on defense. forcing 7 turnovers in two games and you have nothing to say about. you don’t know shit about football if you can’t respect a defense at least a little for causing SEVEN turnovers in two games.
We won’t make the playoffs even though statistically possible, but we should have some identity after this season regardless if thigpen becomes the amazing comeback kid or not he deserves a roster spot if he keeps this up. We still need to go after somebody next year and I don’t anybody over 25 starting next year.
Comment by jake — November 6, 2008 @ 8:48 pm
So Jake, Atlanta is just trying to be “good” and not “great”? How so? They have been stockpiling draft picks, and had just as many first day picks (2 1st, 1 second, 3 3rds) as we did this year.
The important difference is they realize it takes a lot more than drafting to be build a competent (and maybe “great”) team. Every team drafts and hopes. But that’s only a small part of it.
I find it interesting that you think it’s better for a rookie to learn to lose than to win. Maybe if we had some actual leadership on this team, they would know how to handle a win.
Comment by VLTC — November 6, 2008 @ 9:10 pm
Jake, you have been drinking too much of the kool aid.
Comment by Bryan — November 7, 2008 @ 11:21 am
Jake,
You are an idiot. Take a look at the team. You will find out that a majority of the players are Herm’s draft picks and signed free agents. Lets take a close look and then I will let you decide whether this is Herms first, second or third year of rebuilding…….
Offenses:
Brandon Albert 1 year (Herm’s),
Brian Waters 6 years (Vermeils)
Rudy Niswanger 3 years (Herms),
Adrian Jones pick with the Jets…. 5 years (Herms),
Damion McIntosh 2 years (Herms),
Dwayne Bowe 2 years (Herm),
Devard Darling 5 year vet 1st with Chiefs (Herm),
Tony G (Gunther Cunningham or Marty),
Mike Cox 1 year (Herm),
LJ (Vermeil)
Tyler Thigpin 2 years (Herm)
Defense:
Turk Mcbride 2 years (Herm)
Tank Tyler 2 years (Herm)
Glenn Dorsey 1 year (Herm)
Tamba Hali 3 years (Herm)
DJ 4 years (Vermeil)
Pat Thomas 4 year vet from Jax ( Herm)
Demario Williams 4 year vet FA (Herm)
Jared Page 3 year (Herm)
Bernard Pollard 3 year (Herm)
Brandon Flowers 1 year (Herm)
Brandon Carr 1 year (Herm)
Now looking at this lineup, it clearly shows that Herm is not in the first year of rebuilding. Most of the players were drafted and FAs were signed during Herm’s era. I guess he got you sold on that “This is year one of rebuilding†bullcrap!!!!!!!!!
Comment by J-Rock in Texas — November 7, 2008 @ 12:04 pm
The last thing I have to say is the last two games have been very fun to watch because this team is finally starting to show something. Bowe needs to catch every ball thats near him for us to win against san diego. Thigpen will throw a couple picks but we will make those up on defense. forcing 7 turnovers in two games and you have nothing to say about. you don’t know shit about football if you can’t respect a defense at least a little for causing SEVEN turnovers in two games………Jake
For this comment….Turnovers are fine, but no one remembers how many turnovers you get when you give up 425 yards and 30 points.
Comment by J-Rock in Texas — November 7, 2008 @ 12:25 pm
I say: I don’t want a good I want a team that can dominate in every aspect of the game. I will repeat myself The 2008 season is Herm’s rookie team. When he came here I’m sure he was told to win a super bowl in five years. It has not been easy with so many injuries, cause the team lost identity. We decided to pay the big bucks to LJ without finding a qb thinking we would still be able to run the football without the best line in history…….Jake
Here is another one. ANY fool knows it takes a good offensive line for a RB to be successful.
The fact is our quarterback has put two good performances back to back which is something we have not had since 2006. If thigpen can come out and play like a pro (or better than any quarterback since the 2005 trent green) for a third game we will have ourselves a team. You talk about leadership, but you don’t talk about our quarterback play and how we have actually been in position to win the last two games only because of him leading the people around him on the field………Jake
Thats exactly the point. We are in position to win but ONLY in the first half. After the first half, Sperm turns Chan Gailey into Mike Solari. Another thing. We can be up by 28 but with the pass rush we have (or lack there of), its like being up by only 3. Thigpin has played well 2 out of the 3 games he started. It takes more than those few games to win me over. I see this too often. Look at Derrek Anderson, Tavarius Jackson, David Gerrald, Matt Shaub, Kyle Boller, Vince Young, Duante Culpepper, Alex Smith, David Carr, and Byron Leftwich. What do all those guys have in common. They had one or two good years and now they suck.
Comment by J-Rock in Texas — November 7, 2008 @ 12:48 pm
Actually Jake,
JD did praise the QB play in his Jets column. It was Herm who actually was downplaying it, saying we got lucky because the Jets weren’t ready for the spread offense. I copied the post for you:
EDWARDS: “It’s like anything else, if people get a bead on what you’re doing the first thing they do is attack you. We caught the Jets a little bit by surprise because we stayed in it a lot and they hadn’t practiced it.â€
JD: Are you saying the Chiefs offense just got lucky? Are you really invalidating the best quarterback play we’ve had in two years? I’m not surprised though, since it proves the Hermcuffs actually do bind an offense. Herm “The Team Comes First†Edwards would rather dismiss his own coaches and players than admit his way doesn’t work.
————
Jake, winning too early? Are you kidding? That’s a stupid comment, even for you.
Herm himself said 2007 was the start of the rebuilding, not 2008. Do you not believe your head coach?
Even so, this is Tony Sparano’s first year (mia), and this is Mike Smith’s first year (atl), yet they are successfull.
Comment by Alex — November 7, 2008 @ 1:17 pm
I love this “This is Herm’s first year” talk.
Last year there were 8 teams that won 5 or fewer games (there were no 6 win teams). Of those 8 teams 3 have new head coaches coming into the season (Miami, Baltimore, Atlanta) and each of those teams have equaled or surpassed their win total from last year at the half-way point of the season.
Three more of those teams have fired their head coaches already this season (Oakland, St Louis, San Fran). Oakland has 2 wins so they are theoretically on pace to equal their 4 wins from last year, St Louis has won 2 games and should surpass their 3 wins from last year. San Francisco is the only one of these 3 to be off pace from their 5 win total from last year (2 wins so far this year), but at least they had the balls to make a change.
The only teams to have coaches still in place from last year are the Jets and Chiefs. The Jets have already passed last year’s win total with 5 wins to date. Herm is the only coach still in place who looks to have a worse record than than their previous year’s god awful record.
Comment by kc rush — November 7, 2008 @ 1:53 pm
One fun item. Herm currently has the 3rd worst winning percentage of any head coach (with 30+ games)in team history.
His .350 (14-26 record)is only behind Paul Wiggin (.314) and Crash Ganz (.267). If wins 1 or fewer games the rest of this season he will have the second worst winning percentage in team history. 0 wins = .292, 1 win = .313, 2 wins = .333, 3 wins = .354.
Just think how pathetic his record/winning percentage would be if he didn’t have satan…um, I mean Vermeil’s players that first year.
Comment by kc rush — November 7, 2008 @ 2:04 pm
Jake sure does know how to rile up a forum. Herms rookie year, that’s a good one. I posted on this site Monday how could Herm call that timeout with TB scrambling to get the play off with no timeouts left and it didn’t get any response. Thanks JD for noticing just how stupid he really is. Jake, you are a moron. I think that I say that everytime I read one of your posts.
Comment by Mark F. — November 8, 2008 @ 7:14 pm
…..You act like Jared Allen was the greatest thing to happen to us….Whats his production been so far this year? 2 sacks and 3 pass defense. We’ve got 3 sacks as a team with multiple FF in our favor from our line. And Albert is holding up well for a rookie LT that played LG in college. AND we got 2 3rd rounders from them too right? Jamal Charles and DuJuan Morgan being those picks. So we add depth to the Secondary, depending on Page’s ankle this could already help us, and we get a break away speed guy to compliment Johnson. I don’t see where it is more beneficial to have allen in this situation…granted there is no way to know if we would have taken dorsey or traded down for o-line if we did not get rid of allen, cuz allen and dorsey would be a dominant force for sure……
this is what i posted on Oct 10th. 2008. I still don’t understand why you got such a boner for Allen. Morgan obviously hasn’t made a HUGE contribution to the team yet but as he learns he adds the depth we need in the secondary. Charles and Albert are doing great if you ask me. Especially if you look at last weeks game. so we traded 7 sacks so far for a new rb that is capable of compiling 100 yards in a game, a lt that is great (for a rookie, every rookie has growing pains), and depth in the secondary. I think it was worth it. Get over you steer boy J. Allen cuz he’s not comming back.
Comment by FatDaNn — November 8, 2008 @ 7:18 pm
I was under the impression that Chiefs nation had finally accepted the failure of Herm. Jake, I appreciate your optimism and your ability to find the positives in our current situation, but DAMN!!! Funny you mention the team “learning” from losing or winning, because you know they aren’t learning from the coach!
As for the any demands CP placed on Herm, I think we are seeing them. They are friends, period. We needed a coach, Herm wanted a new job, problem solved. If you haven’t noticed, we have the most unsuccessful GM in the history of professional sports; backing an incapable coach. And your comment regarding Miami and Atlanta turn around is crazy. They are succeding due to a combination of players and coaches, although I lean toward the coaching. What has the “wildcat” formation done for Miami? In Atlanta, Ryan’s armstrength and accuracy in combination with his intelligence have enabled them to use their passing attack to open up their running game, but that comes from the coaching.
J-Rock, I have to disagree with your quarterback comparison. Matt Schaub is very good, Derek Anderson missed camp and I think they are simply don’t have their timing and Braylon Edwards only catches half the balls he should, David Garrard is a very good game manager. As far as Leftwich, hard to argue with Monday nights game against a pretty good defense.
Comment by Travis — November 9, 2008 @ 12:19 am
Travis,
Derek Anderson was replaced by a second year QB after an outstanding season. That is enough to let me know his time is limited in Cleveland. Thats why you saw people holding signs that read “Put Brady In If You Want To Win”. I would exclude Matt Schaub from the list but he is the only one. As for Leftwich one half of a football GAME doesn’t impress me. Let him go a whole season from start to finish and play like that and then I will be impressed. I still say David Gerald still belongs on the list. It doesnt take much game management to hand the ball off to two studs in the backfield. I must add, after seeing Tyler Thigpin play against the Bolts, he is slowly winning me over. I hope Chan keep him throwing about 40 times a game the rest of the season so he will have the experience for next year. As we all know, this season is over and as much game time scenerios he get, the better he will be next year. And the more Chemistry he will have with the receivers for next year.
Comment by J-Rock in Texas — November 10, 2008 @ 1:41 pm