The 1-16 Chiefs found a new record-setting way to lose, again. You would think that there would come a point when “rebuilding” doesn’t matter. Any other team would fire a coach who goes 1-16 in his 3rd year with the team. Cam Cameron was fired after going 1-15 in his “first” first year. I don’t know what is going on behind the doors at Bizarrohead Stadium, but the team is playing better in spite of Herm, not because of him.
Chiefs 27, Bucs 30
Where to begin? The largest comeback in Tampa Bay Buccaneers history, and the biggest blown lead in Kansas City Chiefs history, 21 points.
EDWARDS: “21 points?”
JD: Don’t start Herm.
For two weeks in a row, the Chiefs have only managed three 2nd half offensive points. Since it’s clear the offensive coordinator knows how to move the offense and the players seem to have the ability to execute it, is there anyone else on the team who is offensively challenged and has the ability to institute policy? I guess it will just remain a mystery.
I did not see the game, but I did listen to it on the radio. Did Herm actually call a time out with 25 seconds left? Really? Good thing Tampa Bay was out of timeouts because Herm’s shrewd move forced the Bucs to catch their breath, stop the clock and take their time coming up with a game-winning play.
I’ve been a little hesitant to call out Chiefs players because I believe the problem with the Chiefs is leadership. Maybe if they had a competent coach that they can respect, maybe they might play better.
That being said, #31 Priest Holmes, I mean Maurice Leggett, has twice now been involved in crucial plays that cost the Chiefs the game. Last week, he whiffed on a punt return tackle that the Jets returned to the 50 yard line on their game-winning drive, and this week, he was right there blowing the coverage on the Bucs game-winning touchdown.
GRUDEN: “We expected some of that (play calling) from Chan Gailey. He’s got a history of being very creative. They mixed it up quite well. They had a unique package.”
JD: Interesting. Gailey has a history of being creative, yet for the first six games of this year, I could’ve sworn Mike Solari was still coaching the team.
Joe wrote this:
“Herm Edwards kept insisting that his team was playing with intensity. You know one surefire way to tell that a team is not playing especially hard? When the coach has to keep telling you how hard they’re playing.”
Is someone from the KC media actually noticing Herm’s bullshit? That is awesome. Hey Joe, Herm also has to constantly remind us he tells the truth, likes to score points, and knows what he is doing. Maybe you can look into that too.
Atlanta & Miami
The Falcons and Dolphins both won, again, and on the road. Apparently you can rebuild your team during the off-season & be competitive RIGHT AWAY. It’s so funny that Herm supporters can’t explain why Herm needs 4-5 years to make the team good, but Atlanta and Miami can do it in one.
In his first season with the Vikings, Allen has seven sacks in eight games, including two last week against the Texans.
A column or two ago, I wrote that maybe the Allen trade was bad for both teams. I was wrong as Allen has been productive for the Vikings. Who knew the 2008 NFL sack leader would be getting a lot of sacks in 2009?
Zack & Miri Make a Cliche, I Mean Porno
I like Kevin Smith. I loved Clerks, Clerks 2, Mallrats, J&SB Strike Back, and I quote from those movies a lot, so I saw Zack & Miri over the weekend.
Zack & Miri and the Chiefs had a lot in common this weekend. The both started strong, had some good parts and showed a lot of potential. Unfortunately both ended predictably and badly, I left both really questioning the decision making of the people in charge and wishing I would’ve stayed home and just watched it on television for free.
If I didn’t know better, this movie was made by a twelve year old who just learned how to swear. I like to swear as much as the next person, and I do in this column a lot, but in Zack & Miri, it seemed like it was every two words for the ENTIRE MOVIE, even the credits. Two actors names would scroll across the screen, and then several random swear words would blare out. It was crazy.
F**in’ every two F**in’ words, F**in’ the whole F**in’ movie is F**in’ a lot. Sh*t!
Some people use swears as a crutch when they can’t think of anything witty to say, but in this movie it was a handicap-friendly van with an elevator lift that drove everywhere.
Even the 60-year old store owner from India character sounded like he just got off the stage at Def Comedy Jam.
Take away the cussing and toilet humor, and all you are left with is a retread of all those bad 80′s movies where the star finally realizes the one who he is really in love with is the girl who was his best friend all along. Just substitute “nerd does ‘X’ to become popular” plot device with “making a porno” plot device.
Kevin Smith’s “Jersey Girl” also used a cliche ending. Gee, will career-obsessed parent blow off important job duty to attend child’s recital/play/whatever? For me, when you can see the end coming from miles away, and it’s the same end that 37 other shitty movies used, and it’s not that great an ending to begin with, that’s lazy writing and it makes me not like it so much.
It’s playing “not to lose”, and pretty much guarantees that you will. F**k, f**k, sh*t!
Jason Mewes does a full frontal nude seen, and I know what you’re thinking, “That sounds great!”, but unfortunately it does not come across as good as it sounds (I’m being very SARCASTIC with that sentence).
It wasn’t used as a joke, or in any other way to necessitate him showing his all. F**k, f**k, sh*t! Will Ferrell was “nude” in “Old School”, even bending over to pick something up, and it was funny without having to show us the crack of his ass. Kevin should change his title of director/writer to shock-jock.
Dogma was a Catholicism spot fest with really forced dialogue, and Chasing Amy was a lesbian spot fest with really forced dialogue. Both were funny at the time, but really have not aged well. I think Z&M is heading the same way. What is funny today will be retarded tomorrow.
Zack & Miri also had two clerks who decide to film a movie in their store after hours. Hmm, that sounds familiar.
No wonder Kevin’s movies will never evolve to anything more than a cult status, but this is only my opinion.
While Roger Ebert and Variety both spoke about the abundance of swear words, my brother has now labeled me a prude. Me, an F’N prude. While I’ve been called almost every name in the book, I would classify myself as more a sarcastic jag. I’m sure there are a few readers who would disagree. So I got that going for me.
Zack & Miri did have some laughs, but I guess I just expected more. AC/DC has been remaking the same album since 1975 and a lot of people like that, so what they hell do I know?
Did anyone actually hear Herm’s press conference last week? This was not in the written transcript, but VLTC and Rocky commented in the last column that they heard he actually said this:
EDWARDS: “I’m an opponent of moving the football.”
JD: I couldn’t have put it better myself, Herm. But I’ll try anyway. I agree with VLTC, that you probably meant to say PROponent, but just like your “21 Points” comment, it’s probably one of the only honest things you have ever said.
Press Conference 11/4/08
Q: Does a player need a certain amount of game reps to be at his peak?
EDWARDS: “Traditional runners, and I learned this from (former N.Y. Jets RB) Curtis Martin, about at number 20 they were feeling pretty good. I learned that from Curtis Martin, from coaching him all those years. We had a guy in Philly named Wilbert Montgomery, right around 15 to 18, he’d get going. They just felt better and if think all runners feel that way. I think they just kind of go for the game. About 20 carries is about, they’re feeling pretty good. That’s all of a sudden, if they haven’t broken a big run, you can kind of feel that they’re getting ready to break one. So, somewhere right around in there. All of them are different. Running backs always want the ball. They like having the ball in their hands.”
JD: Then why was LJ only given the ball seven times at Carolina?
Q: Does losing that lead make it harder to come back this week?
EDWARDS: “Well, yeah. I think it’s more gut-wrenching because of what happened. The chain of events that took place, especially the 10-point swing, all of a sudden the momentum changed. That’s what you guard against. I knew right then when the momentum changed I said we’ve got to come out of this half and we’ve got to put some more points on the board. We weren’t able to do that, we only scored three points. They scored 17 so. If you score six points, instead of three points, you might win the game. It didn’t turn out that way. You’ve got to give those guys credit. They’re a very experienced football team, they never panicked. They got their 10 points all of a sudden and got their momentum and the third quarter was kind of back and forth. The fourth quarter, a chain of events take place and you don’t get yourself in position but one time to kick a field goal. You make three points and they make some plays. That’s what this league is though. That’s what makes it so great. Anything can happen. Leads can evaporate or they can expand. We had the same thing going with Denver. It kind of got close, got down to one score, then all of a sudden we got it out to two scores again. It didn’t transpire for us this time, but we’ve got to keep building on that and make sure we finish it.”
JD: Don’t you get dizzy wading through all that, reader? Anyway, when you apply Hermcuffs and playing for field goals, like Herm did on the first two possessions against Denver, of course leads can evaporate. 6-0 is not much of a lead. But congratulations to Herm on blowing the biggest lead in Chiefs history.
Q: How difficult is it to play sound special teams when you’re shifting your roster like this?
EDWARDS: “That’s where it hurts you. You’re talking about your core guys of your special teams, then all of a sudden you’re down to guys that are really your backup special teamers. One thing about special teams, your seconds don’t get a lot of reps, because that’s just the way practice is laid out. They can’t because they don’t have that time.”
JD: Since the special teams have helped cost you two games in a row, maybe you should MAKE the time.
Q: Have you ever been associated with a team that’s had to sign so many guys “off the street”?
EDWARDS: “When we were in New York, my last year. We lost 12 starters. We played with the fifth quarterback. I remember one game, we only dressed 42 players, we couldn’t even dress 46, because we were so beat up. It happens. You’re dressing, literally, guys that have been into training camp and the season’s kind of going and the eighth week they’ve been kind of working out. You’re asking the guy to come in, and when he comes, he looks at you and you go okay, you’ve got three days to get ready because you’ve got to play in the game. The guy kind of looks at you like you’re kidding, and I say, I’m not kidding, you’ve got to go play.”
JD: A lot of injuries come down to conditioning, and since conditioning is a coaching issue, and since this is also a recurring problem with Herm, it must be talk radio and that damn JD’s fault!
Q: Is that the kind of offense you’d like to run now? It seems to be the opposite of what you wanted to run when you came to Kansas City.
EDWARDS: “Sometimes you get pigeon-holed as a coach. Well this guy thinks like this. I think this, I want to score points, I’ve always said that.”
JD: I need to start putting Herm quotes on my rolodex because it’s starting to get to be a pain in the ass to continually have to backtrack to find where Herm has said the complete opposite of what he’s saying this particular week.
Many times last year Herm said scoring a lot of points may look pretty on the scoreboard, but it really hurts your team, and who can forget his 21 points comment. This one I do have saved at the top:
EDWARDS: “If we score 21 points, I’ll say, ‘Whoa, we scored a lot of points.’ Twenty-one points – that’s a lot of points. Thirty points? That isn’t even a football game. That’s Arena Football. We’re talking about real football.”
JD: Ok, Herm, not only are you right, but I am also wrong, you love scoring points.
EDWARDS: “How you do it is how you do it. If you can throw it around the yard and don’t throw it to that other guy too much, I’m okay with that.”
JD: Crap! Fine, I’ll go look it up. (10 minutes later) Ok, I found it. Here is Herm talking about the evils of the passing offense last year:
EDWARDS: “Here’s the problem: you can’t have an offense that goes out and takes 45 seconds off the clock because you threw three incomplete passes. You can’t do that. You can’t do that. You’re going to kill your defense. That’s the problem. It looks good that you threw a bunch of passes and you go incomplete, incomplete and incomplete, stop the clock, and you put your defense back on the field. You can say we scored real fast but then the game becomes real long. It looks like a lot of fun but it ain’t no fun.”
JD: That was just Herm contradiction #1,348. He’s okay with throwing a lot, he’s not ok with throwing a lot. Makes sense.
Q: You turned up the heat in practice today?
EDWARDS: “Yeah, generally you do that this time of the year, when it gets cooler, you try to turn it up to about 75 degrees in there, because we’re going out to California. Let them sweat.”
JD: So the weather DOES make a difference. Last year you said it didn’t (talking about the Raiders coming to KC).
EDWARDS: “What about those dome teams or teams that come from California that don’t play in the cold? They don’t get acclimated; they just play in the cold. I’ve always done it this way. You say all that good stuff but once you play both teams have to play in it (cold weather).”
JD: So warm weather teams don’t have to acclimate to weather, but midwest teams do. Got it. What records for losing will you break this week?