The title quote is a paraphrase of comedian Ron White, one of the few men that drink more Scotch than I do. I’m going to need some Scotch after that ice water enema I just witnessed. Good thing there’s still some ice water left over.
Maybe it stemmed from Herm telling his coaches to start looking for new jobs. Maybe it stemmed from the second half meltdown against Miami last Sunday. Maybe it stemmed from the incessant derision courtesy of the national sports media. There’s even an outside chance that it stemmed from the termination (whoops…. I mean resignation) of Carl Peterson. Whatever the cause, I can tell you this: when the Kansas City Chiefs took the field today, there was a lot of quit in those boys.
In my 20 years of fandom I don’t recall seeing a lesser effort by a Kansas City team (Royals notwithstanding). Whereas in previous losses I had at times seen a team that should have been competitive fail to be competitive, this time I saw a team that should have been competitive elect not to be competitive. This was a democratic and nearly unanimous decision to play poorly. In last year’s season finale against the Jets, many of the following season’s bubble players stepped up and showed effort, albeit sometimes ineffectively. Today, next year’s bubble players made no effort to distinguish themselves. Youngbloods, gristled veterans, and should-be franchise players alike did just enough to not get hurt, and in the process embarrassed themselves.
I have been outspokenly critical of fairweather fans who have turned off their television at halftime or left a game early. Today I wanted to do just that. I didn’t because I can’t bear to miss a moment of Chiefs football, but never before have I been that tempted. Barring public apology, many of the players on this team deserve no respect right now. In a month I’ll feel differently, but at the present I’m half an hour removed from one of the biggest abominations of sportsmanship I have ever witnessed. James Vander Beek was a better leader of men than nearly anybody in the red and gold today.
Having said all that, let me name the players who I believe still showed heart in the face of adversity: Tyler Thigpen, Dwayne Bowe, Glenn Dorsey, and Jason Babin. Of them, only one (Bowe) had a particularly exceptional game, which, of course, is why we lost.
Nobody else is safe from my ire, from the coaches on down. As far as I’m concerned we can scrap 52 players along with the entire front office. Again, I know in a month I’ll feel differently, but right now I, along with probably the overwhelming majority of the Chiefs Nation, am as thoroughly disgusted and royally pissed off as I can possibly be. This team, unlike last year’s, was assembled to win games, yet they did not. This is only the second two-win season for the Chiefs, and the other (1977) was in the bygone fourteen-game era. That means that, by winning percentage, this is the worst Chiefs team ever. A team that should have went 8-8, and by proxy won the division, was frequently coached out of winning. Only 121 points were scored in the second half of games, and only twice (in the Buffalo loss and the Denver win) did they score more than ten second half points. In the other fourteen games Kansas City averaged less than six points in the final thirty minutes.
Championships are not built like this.
On the top shelf of my bar I keep a bottle of Macallan 18-Year Scotch. A bottle of the 18 costs about $185. Thusly it only comes down on really good days or really bad days. I’ll be drinking Macallan tonight. I know many of you will be encouraged to engage in similar behavior. So to all my readers, raise your glasses and toast to a better 2009 a few days early. I’ll still be here through the playoffs and the offseason, so stay tuned. I thank you all, and I especially thank the webmasters of both Warpath and Home of the Chiefs for providing me a venue and an audience. And, as always, allow me to state my mantra: Fire Mike Priefer. Seacrest out.
Well said Nathan, I’ll drink to that! GO CHIEFS in ’09!!
Comment by FlaKCfan — December 28, 2008 @ 5:40 pm
Ironically in the waining moments of todays abortion of a football game I discovered who should be our next coach believe it or not. Since the game provided no entertainment me and my Fiance were cutting our dogs toenails (something we’re new at). While cutting our fat dog’s nails we must have gotten a little over-zealous at our new found talent and clipped it to short thus cutting the quick and causing her to bleed which I don’t care to see any dog do.
After this little incident and a trip to CVS pharmacy I discovered this wonderful invention from the medical world called a Syptic Pencil. This device stops bleeding almost immediatly and is rather amazing and also painless. So upon the discovery of a rather dated yet very effective tool I say we need a syptic pencil for our next coach, what could we lose?
Comment by NCCHIEFSFAN — December 28, 2008 @ 5:49 pm
Flour will stop the bleeding too NCCHIEFSFAN, but alas…..I do not see the Pillsbury Dough Boy as our next HC.
My best to you, your fiance and your dog. Enjoy the off season and take care!
Comment by Kansas City Krusher — December 28, 2008 @ 6:17 pm
Nathan, Hope you enjoy your Macallan tonight. I will have a couple for you as well! Any insight when Chiefs will announce that Herm is FIRED?
Comment by KCiowafan — December 28, 2008 @ 6:42 pm
Krusher, I think you’re wrong. Andy Reid WILL be the coach here next year.
Comment by nathanKent — December 28, 2008 @ 7:11 pm
nathanKent, I hope you are wrong……..Good Lord, I hope you are wrong.
Comment by Kansas City Krusher — December 28, 2008 @ 10:21 pm
That was a doughboy joke.
Comment by nathanKent — December 28, 2008 @ 11:06 pm
I don’t know who Clark will hire but if we want to stop the bleeding, it will have to be someone who will fire up the Chiefs Nation and provide the ability to use what we have in place and build upon it.
Enter Marty and Bill.
Long term, I kind of lean towards Pioli and Josh McDaniels.
Comment by robert — December 29, 2008 @ 8:10 am
Here here, Nathan. To the 2009 Chiefs!
I still think Herm will be back. I hope I am wrong.
Anyone know if we get the second draft pick or the third?
Comment by Jeff in VA — December 29, 2008 @ 8:32 am
We get the third pick in the draft.
Comment by robert — December 29, 2008 @ 8:58 am
The fact that Clark has waited this long after yesterdays game to fire Herm scares the hell out of me. Don’t worry Herm, you can make a fortune selling your video on how to destroy an NFL franchise.
Comment by mark f. — December 29, 2008 @ 12:59 pm
I do not believe Herm is going anywhere except to the bank to keep cashing those Hunt family paychecks for at least another year.
I hope I am wrong
Comment by Kansas City Krusher — December 29, 2008 @ 1:39 pm
After 19 years I have finally realized this is a cry baby organization. Always making excuses as fans and from the front office. Peterson is finally gone but herm punk a$$ will be back because this is kansas city where dreams come to die. I have wated 19 years of my life with this team and I see no hope with this team. Sorry we give all our love to a team and organization that doesnt give a s**t about us(the Fans) F**k it, if herm comes back then we deserve another year in rebuilding hell!!!!!!!!
Comment by Adam Meyer — December 29, 2008 @ 5:59 pm
Well if Herm is there to cash those Hunt family checks then they won’t be getting any more of my checks
Comment by Arlo — December 29, 2008 @ 9:17 pm
Shanahan is fired. He could be the Chiefs new HC……
Comment by J Rock in Texas — December 30, 2008 @ 5:59 pm
Just Kiddin.
Comment by J Rock in Texas — December 30, 2008 @ 5:59 pm
Be careful there J Rock, the way everybody wants Cowher and his 1 SB win just imagine what you might have them thinkin’ with Shanahan’s SB success….oh that’s a horrid horrid thought!
Comment by Kansas City Krusher — December 30, 2008 @ 7:26 pm