FINALLY, after three and a half years, “Chief Thoughts” by JD has come BACK, to the internets. For those of you who did not catch my act the first time around, “Chief Thoughts” is a HIGHLY opinionated rambling collection of attempted witticisms and pop-culture references from a long-suffering, frustrated Chefs fan. And no, that is not a typo, when you go 0-14 against the AFC in one season, you are the CHEFS.
While some people like to report/comment on TIMELY issues and things as they happen, I sometimes like to discuss stories long after they’ve had ANY value. Like now, for instance. I felt creative last February, and decided the best time to share would be six months later. You know, when the subject matter was MOST relevant (note: heavy SARCASM).
So here we go.
February 22 – The Pro Bowl
Yes the Pro Bowl was a while ago, but Kansas City Chiefs fans haven’t had much to get excited aboot, and more importantly, I haven’t talked about it yet. Sorry, I meant “abOUt”. I sometimes type with a Canadian accent.
When Derrick Johnson intercepted an Eli Manning pass for a pick-six, I fell out of my chair and almost spilled my beer. With that one play, DJ scored as many touchdowns as the entire Chiefs team did in their last three games combined. Plus, he single handedly would’ve beat the Chefs in four other games. You would’ve thought Herm “21 Points” Edwards was still running the show. But no, Romeo Ganz deserves all the credit for this one.
Hopefully most KC fans still have fond memories of their team. Lenny The Cool. MartyBall. Air Vermeil. For over a thousand generations, the Kansas City Chiefs were the guardians of peace, playoff appearances, and even a Super Bowl victory in the Old AFL. Before the dark times… before the Hermpire. We need Andy Reid to put the “i” back in Chefs.
February 27 – Quarterbacks
Shoot. After getting my hopes up of getting another overpriced back-up QB named Matt, the Seattle Seahawks said they would not be trading Matt Flynn. And here I thought the Kansas City Chiefs were starting a new tradition. You know, like the tradition King Carl Peterson had of signing San Francisco 49ers quarterbacks. Oops!
One week after proclaiming Alex Smith was not for sale, news reports had him all but signed and delivered for the Chiefs. I can’t believe they would lie like that, right to my face. Man, if you can’t trust NFL General Managers, then it’s Thunder Dome!
Unless the Chiefs get some quality O-Line help, there won’t be much Smith can do. I mean, if Brady Quinn can’t operate behind that line, then who can?
Seriously, it all starts up front with the line. When Matt Cassel had quality line play, he went to the Pro Bowl & the Chefs won their division. So maybe the first pick in the draft should be a lineman, but what the blue hell do I know?
Speaking of the Oscars, anyone notice all the people who’ve had plastic surgery, and now have that VERY attractive Joker-face (in my opinion)? It’s kind like the dudes in the 1970′s who wore those really bad toupees, that were three shades off the color of their hair. If everyone can tell you are faking it, doesn’t that defeat the purpose?
Barbara Streisand is one-hundred-and-ten-years-old, but didn’t have a wrinkle on her face, and everyone in the media said how good she looked. Hey, since when do NFL General Managers cover the Oscars?
March 1 – Mike & Mike
Mike Greenberg, of ESPN’s “Mike And Mike In The Morning” radio show, was happy about the Alex Smith trade between the Kansas City Chiefs and the San Francisco 49ers, and thought it was a good move for the Chiefs. Anyone who has ever listened to Greenberg pick games for more than thirty seconds will realize his blessing is the kiss of death for the team he stands behind. They always lose. But once you realize that, it can end up being pretty good for you, as one could actually benefit very nicely by just going with the opposite of whatever he picks.
The problem comes when he backs your team. C’mon Mike! Haven’t the Chiefs suffered enough? This is their second 2-14 season in the last five years. The first, came courtesy of Herm “I Don’t Worry About The Score” Edwards.
Only in America can someone like Herm “I Know What It Takes To Win” Edwards, take a 10-6 team, and turn it into a 2-14 team in three years, and still manage to get a sweet job at ESPN giving his “expert” opinion. Was Rich Kotite unavailable?
Since Greenberg is a New York Jets fan, you’d think he’d know first-hand Edwards’ Run-Run-Incompletion-Punt offense. Or, the occasional Run-Run-Run-Field Goal offense. Maybe one day Greenberg will put his powers to good use and start picking the New England Patriots every week, but in the meantime, give the Chiefs a break!
Maybe one day I’ll list some of Edwards’ quotes from his time in KC, they are priceless.
March 2 – Leon Sandcastle
Now that the Super Bowl is a month old, it’s the perfect time to discuss the Leon Sandcastle ad. What did you think Kansas City Chiefs fans? Were you bummed as it reminded everyone that the Chiefs have the number one pick in the draft? A pick they’re never had in their entire history? They were so bad they actually have to be given the opportunity to get the best college player available to help them. And this fact was then broadcast on the biggest stage for the whole world to see at the pinnacle game the Chiefs haven’t been to in forty years.
Or, were you like me, just happy to see the Chiefs on TV? My expectations have been so low that I’m happy to see any coverage. How far the mighty have fallen. Ever see the NFL Top Ten program on the NFL Network? Every time they would show Dan Fouts, John Elway, Terrell Davis, LaDainian Tomlinson, or anyone else running rough-shot over some opponent, I would be happy if the back of the jersey that was chasing them was red and gold. How sad.
So for Andy Reid, my expectations are very low, at least for this year.
If the Chiefs didn’t need some quality offensive lineman, I wouldn’t mind if they took Leon Sandcastle with the first pick. He seems pretty good. Maybe they can pick up Terry Tate, office linebacker, in free agency, or quarterback, Shane Falco, if the Washington Sentinels cut him in the next few weeks. Even Reno Hightower, at his age, is better than Brady Quinn.
March 12 – Gary Barbaro
The Kansas City Chiefs Hall of Fame added a new member, three-time Pro Bowl safety, Gary Barbaro. He is the forty-third Chief to get this honor. I think it’s pretty cool anytime any Chief who played from 1974-1988 gets recognized. Yes, the Chiefs only made the playoffs one time in that span, and pretty much were the “Leonard Part 6″ of the football world. I know using that reference puts me in equal literary suckitude, but 1980′s Chiefs deserve 1980′s references.
As bad as the Chiefs were, they did have some great players, and Gary Barbaro was one of them. Drafted in the 3rd round in 1976, he played with KC until 1983. He is fourth in Chiefs all-time history with 39 interceptions, leading the NFL in interception return yards with 165, and setting an NFL record with a one-hundred-and-two-yard interception return in a home game against the Seattle Seahawks. Of course, they lost that game 31-34.
Living in Chicago, they usually didn’t broadcast AFC teams, let alone 2-12, teams, unless they played the Chicago Bears. That was the game when Walter Payton made thirty-seven Chiefs players miss him on one run. Other than that, I didn’t get to see him play live, but there are old games out there, so maybe one day I will.
In other news, singer Scott Weiland was released from the Stone Temple Pilots. Apparently, STP needed to clear some cap space and decided now was a good time to rebuild. There is a lot of depth at the singer position in this year’s draft and they are looking to go with some youth. Unless, of course, this is just a smoke screen while they work out a trade with the San Francisco 49ers.
Sometime after March 12. – The Gift
I will leave you with a quote from the great Herm Edwards as he was on ESPN, once again giving his expert opinion.
EDWARDS: “When you are building your offense, the one thing I know is two things…”